How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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