I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
