Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
