we have pet lesbian snakes
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
