what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
