Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
