and you said cock pushups were impossible
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I could make wine with my vomit
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
