he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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