Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
