she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
