if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
