your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
