@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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