i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
