I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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