Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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