She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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