And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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