i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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