hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
