Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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