I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
