She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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