god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
