I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
