Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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