every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
