Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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