idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
