yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
