Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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