I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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