Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
