You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
