It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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