I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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