My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
