I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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