you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
we're so committed to being not committed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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