I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
