this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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