More tranny stories later!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
