Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
