she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
