Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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