He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
