Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
