what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
