So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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