just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize