I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
