Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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