i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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