Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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