And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
