Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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