Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
