possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
