I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I forgot wine drunk hurts
is it fun? or sober?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
