You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
