the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
