you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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