i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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