I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
